Whose life am I living: Part 2

Author: Kanmaniselvan

With the resolve that I’m going to be who I am the day went on quite fine and I found my mom preparing dinner. I found myself moved to tears, but not from the emotions, but from the onions my mother was chopping. Me from the past would’ve yelled at my mom for making me teary eyed but the new I didn’t do that. I didn’t speak a word and even went on to help her. Mom was surprised and soon she started opening up about the things happening in the household. She was genuinely happy, and soon I was teary eyed again, but this time from the emotions welled up inside me. During dinner, I appreciated mom for the delicious dishes she had put up. This made her really happy. See what a good word could do to people!

Soon it was TV time and mom took control of the TV to watch her soaps. I asked her, “Doesn’t this seem boring to you? Always family fight, tears. Ma, please change the channel”. My mom looked at me and asked, “All day, you keep doing something with your phone.Do I ask anything?” I remained silent and decided never to interfere again. I kept watching the serial and even started to enjoy it. The next day I decided to break my home routine (Eat, sleep, TV and Repeat). I’m from an agricultural background and have farm lands and I decided to take a lonely walk, bare footed.I considered myself as the Christopher McCandless of “Into the Wild” movie. The movie’s plot is about a guy from a prestigious family who feels that everything was unreal to his heart. He quits everything and sets out on an adventurous trip to Alaska. I took a stick in hand and started to walk and the farms looked so beautiful, filled with peace.I listened to the crows, squirrels, frogs and observed their activities. I was completely lost in it. On that night, I slept in the open terrace watching, counting the stars up in the sky and admiring the beauty of the Moon. I felt my body and mind at peace.

The rest of my holidays were spent like this with my mind longing to discover the adventure and joy in everything. For me adventure is not just in tying a rope to my legs and jumping upside down from a Cliff, but it’s in trying new and different things. Like doing something new in our daily routine, like trying out a new chocolate or taking a new route to the office or buying and experiencing new stuffs. I believe this is the thought that keeps me alive and thrilled. Here’s one of my recent adventures – One Sunday morning, I went out to the beach using public transport. I bought the one-day pass which allows me to travel in any public vehicle all through the day. But I decided to take rest and head home. When I reached my bus stop I realized the pass I had was free for the entire day and anyone can use it (name won’t be written on it). I set a task for myself to find a stranger and give the pass so someone can use it. I got near to people waiting at the stop and thought of asking around if anyone would need the pass but I couldn’t. I was afraid about how they’d react. Even though I never gave the pass to anyone the act was very thrilling.

One of my friends, shared a video.

He also mentioned a fantastic line in that video, “It’s always better to regret something after doing it rather than regretting without doing it, because by doing something, even if you don’t gain anything, you will gain experience”.

                Life doesn’t run like a pre-programmed machine. You can’t expect what is next. We all run behind something, whether its money or pride or happiness or pleasure, we all try to preserve it for the future and forget to live in the present moment. In the far distant future, when you turn back and see, you would really see yourself as a race horse trained to run in a pre-determined track. And the scary thing is, you wouldn’t know who you are and what you did for most of your life. You might be a successful person, but you  wouldn’t have lived your own life. So stop running behind something, start enjoying and admiring the things around you. Never allow anyone to determine other than you. We all live with some kind of shortcomings; it can be physical or mental. Love to live with it. I learnt this and it taught me how beautiful life is and how gifted we are. Like Stephen Hawking said, ‘Where there is life, there is hope’. With that hope, stay strong and Invincible. And finally, Find your freedom and Live your life.

6 thoughts on “Whose life am I living: Part 2”

  1. Past victory and future failures don’t affect much if we live this very moment to its fullest. All the best in your journey of exploring YOU !

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